Loser of the Week

In my travels to find a positive, fun loving, good attitude loser for this week's article, the first blog I stumbled upon I struck gold.

This week's loser, Robin (Robinznest) has spunk, a big heart and a great attitude.  Do read her story, you will not be disappointed.

Being overweight has been an issue with me for all of my adult life. Everyone in my family has a weight problem, and even though I have always been the “skinny” one in the family, it has been a personal battle for a long time. At first, it wasn’t that I weighed too much; it was that I never exercised and I was not toned – I was flabby. After I began having kids I gained extra weight each time and I saw my “set point” change to a higher number with each child. I started at 126 and after my first child I stayed at 136. After my third child I stayed at 156. After my fourth child my weight hovered over the 200 mark. When I wasn’t on some sort of weight loss program, I was in denial. I would tell myself that I was happy with myself. I would tell myself that this was the way God made me and I would be okay with it. I would tell myself that it was in my genes and that I could never change.

I had one successful weight loss in my life. I think it had something to do with turning 40. I was 38 and I felt that if I didn’t lose weight by the time I was 40, I never would. Somehow I gathered up the strength to lose 60 pounds. I looked pretty good. I was walking every day. I told myself I would never put the weight back on. The interesting thing was that even though I met my goal – I still wasn’t happy with it. I still wanted to lose more. That was kind of shocking to me. It was all about the number on the scale and the size of my clothes. Eventually, I quit walking because of some changes in my life and the weight started coming back on. And of course, I gained back more than I had lost. I was defeated.

Now it is 10 years later. Maturity has a way of making one think more practically. I am committed to losing weight again. But it is different this time. First of all, I have confessed to myself that I am NOT okay with my weight. I don’t like the way I feel. I don’t like the way I look. Even though my husband is loving and totally accepting of my body – I don’t like what I have to offer him. Sex is much more fun for me when I weigh less. These things have been difficult for me to admit – but they are truth. I am not going to lie to myself anymore.

So I am trying again but with a different plan. I don’t have an end number in mind this time. I just set mini-goals for myself. The first one was to get below the 200 mark. I did and it felt wonderful. I never want to see that number 2 again! The next mini-goal is to weigh less than my husband. I am about 11 pounds away from that. When I get there, I will set another small goal. I have no idea what number I will end up at. I will go into a maintenance mode when I am feeling acceptance of myself. That may be 20 pounds from now or 50 pounds from now. I’m just not going to go crazy with it. I am going to be realistic. I don’t want to be skinny – I want to be healthy.

I am learning how little food I really need to eat healthy and feel good. Instead of looking to see how much food I get for my money, I now try to look at how little food I need to feel full. I am also learning to appreciate a slightly hungry feeling. That tells me that I have not overeaten and that I am losing weight. I never gave my body a chance to tell me it was hungry before. I am learning that I can still cook and bake foods and I don't have to overeat. I have learned that I can eat whatever I want - just not how much I want.

When we vacationed in Florida last month, I spent some time on the beach and I just watched different body types go by. One thing I really noticed was how age makes a huge difference in bodies. There were lots and lots of young girls who were very thin and their bikini's hung on their bony frames. The best word to describe them was lean. They just didn't have any body fat at all. These are the types of bodies I always dreamed of having.  But as I watched, I noticed women who were probably 35 and above. While they still looked good, and they were not overweight they looked softer and rounder. They looked well, more normal. They looked like they were comfortable. They looked healthy. They even looked sensual. And I realized that I could look like that too.

I have matured not only physically but mentally as well. I do want to lose weight. But it's no longer about a number on the scale or on a tag in my clothing. It's no longer a competition. It's not about how thin I can get. Now it is about feeling good, being healthy, and being comfortable with who I am. And I find an amazing freedom in that realization. I am never going to have the lean body that those 20-something girls on the beach had. And if that is the only regret I have in my life then I consider myself pretty fortunate.

Freedom is a great thing. It makes me feel lighter even as I am on my way to becoming lighter. I am free from weighing a certain number. I am really enjoying that feeling. I also enjoy doing this with all the ladies on this blog. It is awesome to not have to do this alone. Even though we have never met, I feel like I have been invited into your heart. We understand each other. We know where we are and where we want to go. We share this journey together. I look forward to meeting with you each Tuesday and experiencing your joys and your frustrations. Together we can do this!

 

 

Comments

[JanB]

I love your story, Robin. I am so glad to read your perspective. I think that you are doing it the right way and just love your attitude.

I am glad that God gives us bodies that with the right formula (eating right/exercising) will heal themselves from obesity.

I read your blog regularly, and look forward to each new entry.

[FatBlokeThin]

Great post - my philospohy is heal the mind and the body will follow!

Oink over here (http://stopoink.blogspot.com/2007/07/ongoing-struggles.html needs a bit of help. I am worried about her. Please pop over if you get the chance.

Many thanks.

[Alida]

Thanks for sharing your story... I could relate to so much of what you shared.

I had a goal when I came back to visit here in America not to gain any weight while I was here and it was hard.

I gained 9 pounds! I am now losing each week now but it is slow. And I too am amazed at how little I can eat and feel full.

Thanks again,
Alida

[Michelle]

What a great post! I like the idea about switching from how much you can get for your money to how little you need to feel full. I've never thought about food that way before--I like it!

[Paige]

What a great attitude. Thank you for sharing.